via -L P Bhanu Sharma
(Published in The Himalayan, December 1, 2013)
(Published in The Himalayan, December 1, 2013)
'I need meat in every meal I eat. I dislike cabbage and bitter gourd'. 'I like and go for branded dresses only'. 'I hate people who are selfish and I never work with them'. 'I like to trek in the villages, but I don't like their toilets. They're too filthy for me'. Do you have similar feelings? Do you have a clear list of what you like to eat and wear and what type of company to keep? Have you narrowed down your likes and restricted your selection to a few things, events, people and places? If this is the case, you have chosen to be unhappy your whole life. You have put conditions to your own life and have created right parameters to live miserably.
In the name of modernization, fashion, luxury and selection, we create a very small mental world for ourselves and we set a condition to be happy within its four walls. We all have a comfort zone where everything feels safe and familiar. We tend to not venture beyond it. If we allow ourselves to stay there we will not be challenged, experience personal growth, or learn new and exciting things. In other words, we would stagnate.
Initially, creating a list of choices and preferences might help us in deciding what to do and what not. But slowly an invincible comfort zone is built around us, and we are comfortable only if our life circumstances fall within its boundaries. Cutting down on our choices is equivalent to cutting down on happiness. Life brings infinite situations and countless moments for us to experience, learn, enjoy and grow. However, our small list of choices fail to accommodate most of these moments, and we label them as unwanted and unfavorable. This way, almost nine-tenth of what comes in life gradually pushes us into misery, stress and unhappiness. What a sure shot formula to miss life!
Author, businessman and motivational speaker T. Harv Eker in his famous book Secrets of the Millionaire Mind says, "Nobody ever died of discomfort, yet living in the name of comfort has killed more ideas, more opportunities, more actions, and more growth than everything else combined. Comfort kills!" One who lives within the four walls of the comfort zone will find that everything in the world is against his/her will. Similarly, such a person will find it difficult to go along with friends and colleagues, because they will very rarely meet his/her conditions and expectations. New opportunities and businesses will also be out of reach of such people, because they find it difficult to venture out of their own preconditions. Undoubtedly, we limit our life if we limit our choices. Suicide is the only logical result of living such a life.
There is an age-old saying, "We cannot become what we want to be by remaining what we are". We have to learn to break free from our own mental blocks and preconditions. We must question our beliefs, choices and preferences and develop an all-accommodating heart. To quote Mr. Leela Mani Poudyal, the wise, straight forward and bold Chief Secretary of the Government of Nepal, "If we want progress, happiness and peace, we must learn to expand our comfort zone so that we welcome and accommodate new events, people, places and opportunities to our life". Expanding our comfort zone means creating more space for what our life has to offer us. This is equivalent to saying 'Yes' to life.
-L P Bhanu Sharma
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