तपाई एक्लै हो? (Are you alone?)

 

Suryachaur, as seen on the way, about 15 mins to desination.

Along the way I was asked, "तपाई एक्लै हो? (Are you alone?)" three or four times. I wanted to answer - "Yes bruh, alone. Forever alone!" Haha

Lots of things I used to do alone. Oh yes, dirty minded f*cker, that too. I used to go to cafes alone, treat myself often. Every time there was weekend of day off from work, nothing crossed my mind than planning a cycle ride alone. Since few years, I haven't been cycling that often - may be I'm old, may be I have lost my way through adult hood.

Every time someone looked at my tattoo and saw the cycle icon in it, people would either think I am an extreme cyclist or love cycling very much. But then they would see that I ride bike to work and judge me. They would ask "If you have a cycle tattoo, why do you ride a motor bike?"

Cycling is more than a means of transport for me. I support and love rights for women doesn't mean I have to be a women myself, do I? I support and love cycling doesn't necessarily mean I have to be cycling everyday, talking about cycles everyday. The cycle tattoo on my arm doesn't depict that I am an extreme cycle rider, a regular cyclist. It is supposed to mean that cycling defined the path of my life, defined how I am today. (We can talk about this in person in detail. Or may be not!)

But, every time I looked at that tattoo and my cycle at home, I always felt sad. Where is that old me who loved being alone and cycled alone?   Have I changed and become more social? So social that I have forgotten my roots and started enjoying or let's say started 'faking to enjoy' (Oh yes, I do that a lot) people company?

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7th December, 2017 - a sports day event at my workplace, Karkhana, a first of its kind. Am I not interested in sports? Of course I am. My childhood mostly passed around sports; football, volleyball, cricket, cycle, running, guchcha, ghurra, chungi, basketball ( a lot), kho kho kabaddi. You name it. I have even played baseball and rugby, nepali versions of them, without knowing any rules.

So was I excited? No.

"WTF? "

"You loved sports, you weren't excited about sports day at your place? I mean who gets an awesome workplace that has a sports day."

I know right? I must be crazy. Even I don't have an answer of why I wasn't excited. I might have become too old with my fucking mind. I might have become too boring. I might have felt I wasn't COOL enough to socialize with cool people around. I might get anxieties with so many people. I was there to work, work, work, setup a good work profile and not socialize, not become cool. IDK. I have no fucking idea. All I knew was, I wasn't excited.

Oh wait, I was excited about one sports, not really a sports, but a challenge. It was a soldering challenge. In this challenge, we were supposed to solder many battery caps and motors etc. Why was I excited about it? Well, it helped other colleagues. The battery caps and motors that came as a product of the challenge would be put into use.

"Do you mean you find something exciting only if it is meaningful and has a use? That's boring."

Hmm. May be. This sounds interesting. But again, I don't know. May be I am just a boring guy. You got it right on the boring  judgements though. Congrats!

Here's what I had planned for the sports day. Participate in only that soldering challenge and work - finish off other pending tasks.

Yeah thanks.

But, the previous night, something hit me. While everyone was enjoying the sports, having fun and socializing, why should I be the one working.

"Dude, are you trying to show off that you are the only hard working guy?"

Of course not! I just would have nothing to do except work at that moment. I would rather enjoy working than socializing.

Confused? Well, so am I.

Why don't I go enjoy myself too? Why don't I do my own sports day. And then I remembered the cycle. And then I remembered the place, Suryachaur I had seen in Sisan Baniya's vlog. I chose the place because it looked beautiful, and the way to Suryachaur kind of almost crossed through the place I had been.

And then it was decided. The next day I would cycle to Suryachaur.

But early morning next, like always, I started having second thoughts. It was a big get together event at office and if I don't go, people might judge me. People already hate me, find me anti social, rude and what not. I have missed (intentionally) so many such social moments already. If I miss this one, they would dislike me more.

Oops!

But I didn't want to gain 'being liked' at the expense of my own personal choice and feelings. I wasn't sure if I wanted to be a part of it or not. I kept my decisions open to the streak of thoughts that would come across next day.

Early morning, I had my Sarangi class. I decided, if I felt like I should go, on my way back from the class, I would go.

Luckily (or not), the 'going to socialize' never crossed my mind. I came back home straight away. I had my lunch and started exploring the route to Suryachaur. Sisan Baniya went through Tokha. I remembered the road through Tokha was too dusty and I already had cycled through that route twice. So, it would be boring to go again. I found a blog where a group of riders cycle from Mudkhu and came back from Tokha. Interesting route. But then, they mentioned they got lost on the way. Oops!

Their blog helped me though. I realized that there was a route through Manamaiju (where I currently live). Nice! I started looking out in Google maps. So, there was actually a route till Sangle Bus stop from my location. After that, the route was common.

I packed my cycling kits ,wore my cycling gears and set off.

Along Phutung.

A few minutes after the ride, along Phutung, I realized I had been in this route before. While cyling back from Jhor few years back, I returned through this route. Back then, I had no idea where this road was taking me.

I was ok till Jhor. Almost at the Jhor waterfall entrance, I had to rest. F*cking tired!

Almost near Jhor.

 Had tea and bun at a small shop in Jhor. NRs. 30. And I am energized. Haha!
I asked the kid in the shop how long would it take me to reach Suryachaur. She said about 2 hours.

Two hours? Whoa! And it is just uphill. Shyat! I was discouraged. I didn't have stamina like when I was young. Haha.

Nevertheless I decided to give it a shot. It was 1:30. If I wouldn't reach by 3 pm, I decided to return back.

After about half an hour of steep uphill, my legs and my mind gave up. Rested flat on the ground for 5 minutes. I decided to return back.

"I think I should return back now. I will go Suryachaur on a motor bike. But then, it's not like on a cycle. I have come this far. I don't think I will come again on a cycle. I will try. I can't give up."

I have never been this proud of myself. Seriously! I gave up and then didn't give up. I started walking, pushing the cycle.

There's no shame in pushing in your cycle. That's a basic decision you need to do in uphills. And to have the ability to decide when to drop off is important.

I was constantly checking the route and my location. This gave me motivation because I was almost near.

And I reached the check post.  It happened to be Gurjeybhanjyang. And I knew Suryachaur was near.

From GurjeyBhanjyang

Few minutes later, I could see Suryachaur. The pleasure. It was ecstatic, almost orgasmic.

 

Suryachaur, as seen on the way, about 15 mins to destination.

And then my battery died. F*ck! I couldn't take any photos of the place I tried this hard for. Haha!

View from Suryachaur, from the point near the white building in above photo.

After restarting the phone a couple of times, I could take this one shot. And the phone died forever.

OKAY! BYE!

Watch the video here:

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So, I checked what my horoscope said on Dec 6, 2017, just ...

GEMINI (May 21-June 21)
*****
You know exactly what you really want—it’s something you’ve been wishing to have for a long time. You’ve likely been saving pennies and working overtime. Today is a great day for you to find it, so make sure you have the cash on hand for some shopping.

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http://kathmandupost.ekantipur.com/printedition/news/2017-12-06/todays-horoscope-20171206075136.html