Have you ever had an urge?The urge to jump off a cliff while you were hiking with your friends? The urge to jump off a cliff with your bike while you riding back home? The urge to go straight against a big truck and smash your bike or a car? The urge to jump off a bridge into the river while you were just crossing the bridge to reach your home? The urge to stab yourself with a knife while you were just cutting vegetables? The urge to take some more of those sleeping pills while you were taking just one because you were insomniac? The urge to jump off your home while you were just hanging your clothes to dry? The urge to jump off a tall mall while you were there just for buying a shirt? The urge to cut your nerves with that paper cutter you were using just to cut the paper for a project?
If your answer is NO, then you have NO RIGHTS to put your opinions on 'What life is'.
You have no rights to tell me, "Don't you have a purpose in your life? Don't you love your family? Don't you love your friends?"
Why?
BECAUSE, YOU WOULDN'T SIMPLY UNDERSTAND,
/ˈɑːshəʊl/.
You wouldn't understand how someone feels to be on THAT ledge, to be on the verge of Life and Death, on the border of 'thinking about yourself only and being selfish or think about others and continue living a frustrating life'.
The ecstasy, the satisfaction of being free after death - the feeling of 'needn't worry' to live the same frustrating life from the next day - have you ever had that? You wouldn't understand, would you?
When these urges attack, it's not like he/she doesn't care about his family and friends, that he/she is being selfish. It is baffling. It can't be explained. You should have to go through the phase to understand what it means.
Maybe he/she wants freedom but Life is actually chaining him/her. Maybe he/she sees no other solution to be free. Maybe he/she feels that his/her life is no more important to 'ANYONE', so death wouldn't matter either.
Whatever the reasons be, childish or mature, selfish or selfless, when he/she has that URGE, he/she sees the 'LIFE AFTER DEATH', that you
I have been battling with myself, my feeling, my thoughts. It has been hard. Being close to the ledge and taking a step back each time, it hasn't been easy. I will, to be my best self, continue to battle because somehow I feel this isn't the only solution. I believe, this is just a bad day and will soon pass. I believe there is always sunshine after the long dark night.
Nevertheless, if I lose to myself, I want you to know that, I didn't give up on life, I didn't lose the battle, that I wasn't WEAK. I want you to know that I was strong enough to win over life, to find the life after death, to choose the freedom beyond life.
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Thanks for the comment! :)