Dear Future Wife (Part 1)

Dear Future wife,

We got my only sister married yesterday. These past 4 days had been very tough for me.

Did I work very hard and got tired? Oh no! My parents, uncle, relatives and neighbors did everything. I did nothing. Yes, seriously.

Then how was it tough for me?

Lots of people coming in, listening to them talking about very unimportant things (in my perspective) was tough, really. I sat for just an hour and my stomach started burning. I couldn’t understand WHY this needs to be done in such a fashion.

Why do we need to impress the groom’s side? Why does everything need to be perfect?

Why all the apples that we send as ‘sagun’ needs to be pretty red, equal sized? Why the red wrapping needs to be seamless? Why does the ‘sel-roti’ needs to be a perfect circle?

Will the groom deny my sister if one of the apples is yellow?

Lots of stupid things I went through during the wedding. I can’t remember whole lot of them. Every time I listened to something crap, it was hard for me. I had to control my perspectives. She is my only sister and my parents wanted to make this wedding as perfect as possible because they couldn’t expect anything to be done during mine.

If you are to be my wife, you know me very well. We already have a very close relationship and you know every bit of me, what I think, what I feel. And you will understand what my beliefs are regarding the wedding. You know that I can’t bear an extravagant wedding, trying to impress the neighbors or relatives. You know that I will not expect anything from your family (for real) to do anything fancy just to impress me, because I am a groom.

You have already impressed me over the years of our relationship through your love towards me, through your strength in us. You barely need to impress me more. I already owe your parents a lot for getting you married to an asshole (oops!) like me. They needn’t try to do anything else. They needn’t impress my parents. My parents love you already. They needn’t impress my relatives. I am not calling my relatives, you know that. Haha!

Please tell your parents not to worry about anything. Tell them they needn’t have a ‘relatives’ meeting’ to decide who is giving a TV, who is giving a cupboard, who is giving a bike, who is paying how much. This is our fucking wedding, the celebration of our love, not a share bazaar where they need to decide which partner invests how much. Tell them they needn’t feel obligated to any relative whatsoever because it’s their daughter’s wedding; you are not obligated to call any relative if you don’t them. Let them know if you and your parents love them, not just because you have a stupid connection of blood.

Jewelry for me, my parents, my relatives and who else? I tried to avoid during my sister’s wedding because I would erupt. Tell your parents to spend few on materials and more on love, blessings for us.

Book a fancy party palace, call every fucking retard who is judging how much money we spend on the wedding, how much jewelry you are wearing, how fancy our wedding dress is, how good the food was, how many people were invited, blabla. What the fuck? God! Why are such retards even invited in auspicious occasion as this? We wanted to celebrate our love, our decision to be one (finally!)  and we have these idiots around us, deteriorating the positive aura.

You know me. You are important to me, not the wedding.

I would rather pick flowers from a garden, make a garland of it, make a ring of it. I hold your hand, put the ring in your finger, put the garland of flowers around, kiss you with all the love I have got for you and make you my wife. Everything else matters less.

I do understand that we have a culture we need to carry on. Our culture never asks us to spend every penny our parents earned the whole life. I would rather want our parents to keep the money and go on a vacation. Even if we are to get married with all the traditions, trust me, we can finish it in NRs. 15K (that’s my current salary at TFN :D ).

Culture is important, not showing off how do we carry out the culture.

Having said all this, I won’t disrespect your parents’ wishes for your wedding either. I am well aware of how your parents want to bid you goodbye. They might have lots of wishes they have been collecting for your wedding. I understand that your parents matter a lot to you. I came very late in your life. Your parents are important for you. I love you for that.

I just am so tired seeing the unimportant things being done in my sister’s wedding that it will be very hard for me to see your parents try to do the same in ours. I have very different thoughts and perspective in everything, you know me. I just want your parents to be free about the wedding and not feel obligated for the groom. They are giving me YOU, their biggest wealth already.

How about we ask our parents to save the money they were supposed to spend in our wedding and go on a fucking vacation? Let’s take our parents too. Let’s have fun. Let’s get married in the awesome-st way possible. Let’s go trekking, bungy, rafting, may be on a family Nepal trip.

I can’t wait to get married to you. :) 

Your stupid & loving,

 Future husband

XOXO