के कथामा मात्र सिमित? #TimeWeAct

Bijeta Gautam, now 17 years old, who experienced her first sexual harassment when she 11, has now started a social media initiative  "के कथामा मात्र सिमित? #TimeWeAct" on facebook, where she wants everyone, who had such experiences, to share to create awareness.

Through her facebook post, she shared her story PUBLICLY.

"I was 11 when I experienced sexual harassment. It may or may not have been the first and definitely not the last, but certainly the most vivid one I can recall.
I was walking randomly in a crowed area and happened to get stuck in the middle of the crowd. Just as I was trying to make my way out of it, a middle aged man suddenly came from behind- subtly grabbed my buttocks, positioned his genital at the center and started rubbing it around.Even though I didn't know what his actions precisely meant back then, I knew it was wrong and disgusting and it traumatized me.It wasn't something a girl of 11 was used to dealing with. The best I could think of doing was walk faster and hide behind a woman who didn't seem to notice my fear. " 

 I am encouraged to share mine through this blog post. Girls and women face harassment more. I am sure there must be a researched data about this. But we are so focused on the females, we tend to overlook the incidents that boys and man face. I feel boys are equall prone to harassment. But males would fear or feel shame to open up (like me) because of the stigma that our society has created.

In a society where we have a song "लोग्ने मान्छे भएर रुनु हुन्न रे! (Males don't cry)", talking about sexual harassment is difficult for a male.

I don't mean we should focus on males more. Feminists, stay aside please. This is a major problem, not just a gender based problem. I just want males to be equally aware about such harassments and stand up.

My story

"I was in my grade 12. It had already been a year since I came to Kathmandu, but it was still new to me, the people and places. My college was in Baneshwor. I stayed in Gongbu. I used to take a direct bus. I used to stay at the last most seat, in the corner so that I won't be bothered with the 'खचाखच" of the bus. One day, at the Airport bus stop, an old man, probably in his 50s got into the bus and sat beside me. When the bus started moving, he came VERY close to me and started touching my thighs. And in no minute, he started reaching my groin. I couldn't really understand what the fuck he was doing. I was in grade 12, studying Science, I was old and educated enough, but couldn't fucking react. I just removed his hands from my thighs and gave a surprised, angry look. He didn't try again. He dropped at the next stop."

What I saw

"I was probably 20 back then. I was returning home. I didn't have a cycle or a bike. I used to take those densely packed micros (the smaller one). Here again, I took the corner seat in the last most seat. There were 4 people beside me.On another corner was a lady, and seat next to him was a man, probably in his 40s. Suddenly the lady started shouting, "What are you trying to do? Why are you putting your hands and touching me?"

The man replied,"I was taking out my phone!"

To this date, I still remember these two days and think why didn't I react. How should I have reacted? Was I educated but too naive ? Did I fear something?

In case of the lady, I am not sure who was right or wrong. May be the man was just trying to take his phone out.

I am not that naive anymore. What would I do if these cases happen again? I would absolutely react and the beat the fucking hell out of them. May be I am more aware of it, more aware that it is wrong. I feel if I don't react today, it means he/she will be encouraged because he/she feels none takes a stand. Taking a stand means you are discouraging him/her from doing another ill behavior or harassing someone else. That way, you are saving another person from being harassed.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

At just 17, Bijeta is aware enough for herself and is even trying to help others. I don't say this is some 'new' initiative. But, is it an important and I applaud her for that.

"I am sharing my story just to let you know that it's not "normal" and okay to be abused and I request you to share yours too.I condemn sexual abuse and street harassment. This is my small step to let each other know what we usually have to deal with and how it affects us personally. Little things sometimes leave big scars.I'm not the only one. At some point in our life, most of us have been victims of some type of sexual abuse. No matter how big or small you might categorize your experience as, an abuse is an abuse and it has no category. You need to share your abuse story. WE need to voice out when we have to."

One she started this, more people have shared their stories.  

In a conversation with Bijeta, she said,

"I didn't think the response would be overwhelming. I just thought of this as a way of showing my dissatisfaction over street and sexual harassment🙂And I have received a few messages who want me to post their story to maintain their anonymity."

More stories are pouring in.

Zia Subedi writes-
"It took me a lot of courage to write this and I'm still scared while I am writing this,but I've always been able to express better by writing and today I will. I've written for others but today I am writing for myself. 
I was in grade 3. I was a typical child...who watched Disney all the time wanted to be like one of those fairy tale princesses. I loved listening to stories and he knew it very well. He was in grade 9 or 10...someone like family. He used to tell wonderful stories and I loved listening to them. Then one day he said," If u want to listen to a story just stay silent." He used to kiss me and mess around. I was just 8 years old, unaware of what was happening. But isn't a human brain great? because I could perfectly sense that something wrong was happening. This happened a couple of times and it disturbed me a lot because in my stories there were princes who saved the princess from the villian. I had none. What I didn't know what that I was supposed to be my own prince and say "no". Mr. asshole maybe you think I've forgotten but I haven't. I HATE YOU. You know who you are,stay away. I'm in grade 10 and I'm perfectly aware. Didn't you know it was wrong? pervert.
These things happen a lot in our society. Please don't stay silent. It's time we act out.In Nepal, every girl faces some kind of harrasment before the age of 16.This can happen with your own people. Especially if it happens with children, it disturbs them a lot. It has affected me in every point of life. Not everyone can be strong. Thanks Bijeta dii for giving us a platform to speak out. If you have stories of your own please share it using the hashtag #TimeWeAct
. We need to make these assholes public. The society has to change. If we can share trolls and other stuff, can't we support acts like these? please support and take part.
If not us,then who?If not now, then when?"


Have you ever faced any such harassment? Sexual? Verbal? Speak up - share, to make aware.
You can share your stories anonymously through this form.

Share your sexual abuse/ street harassment story. #TimeWeAct