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I made a choice

June 28, 2014

Disclaimer: All the stupid words here are of my own. If someone tries to follow them and it turns out to be good, you can thank me. If it goes wrong, please don't sue me. :)


The alarm went off at 5 am.

I usually don't keep alarms unless I have something to do waking up at that exact time. I believe in waking up to the natural instinct of my body. I believe our body realizes when it has fully gotten its rest and wakes us up, provided you are not a lazy ass, of course.

I have been trying to make the habit of going on a morning walk for the past week. So, that was what the alarm was for; to create a habit of waking myself at 5 am. 

I woke up with the alarm. As all others, I thought I would sleep for few minutes, but woke after almost an hour. I was supposed to be at Panc Bikes, Kantipath at 6 45 am. for the fun cycling ride. It rained heavily last night, the route would be all muddy, I thought. 

"Maybe, I would just go on a morning walk this time and go for the cycle ride next time."

"The back is paining, maybe I shouldn't go. I might increase the back problem even more."

"Since I am not having any dates or any important works to do today, maybe I should go."

"I will be lying all day like a lazy ass, watching TV or any movie. I better go."

"Oh wait! I have to go this  'Katha Swadeshiko with Baja band' event. But it is at 2 pm. So I will make it."


6 15 am
I was lying on the bed thinking of excuses for almost 15 minutes. I finally woke up, got fresh, had my breakfast, got ready with the few cycling gears I have. 

6 45 am
Damn, I was already late. I would take 15 minutes I rode like a horse to reach there. I turned on the Strava app and took off. 

With both the gears at high, I cycled hard. With the back problem I had, it was risky. I was breathless. I might have won some segment trophies in the Strava. The group hadn't taken off yet, thank god. I am sure they weren't waiting for me, though. :p The group consists of only person I knew, the guy was from Panc itself.

7 20 am
We started the ride. The irony here, the cycle route was through my neighbourhood. That hard riding was of no use. I could have waited the group nearby my house. :/

The route was to go through Jhor, which is a very beautiful place in the outskirts of Kathmandu valley. I had been there once, but through the main roads. I was expecting our trail guide dai to take us through some other route.

I was glad, we went through the other route, which was new, at least for me. At a point, the road was so muddy, if we went through that, our cycles would be half dipped. So, the guide dai took us through a single track, through fields. I always wanted to do this, but never had the guts. I was afraid I would be judged by others if they could ride well and I couldn't. I always am. But, I did it. Yes, I overcame my fear. 


I wasn't riding hard, because of the back problem I had. I didn't want to risk being paralysed and lying flat on the bed all day. 

We reached Jhor. From there, we got directed to Mudkhu.

There was one dai, who just got a new bike the day before and was with us that day for a fun ride. For the first ride, I had a feeling it was going to tough for him and risky as well. But I didn't to act hero amidst the pro riders. 


The route was good, the places beautiful, off roads, up hills. It was OK until we reached a tough up hill. It was hard to even drag the bike. By then, our newbie dai was tired as hell. I was worried for his health. The guide dai consolidated us by saying there are all down hills now. Hell, no! The up hills were more to come. They weren't that tough, but after that big up hill we just conquered, even a small up hill was hard. This time, I overcame my fear and went through bumps and all. 

We reached Mudkhu - took the final break - had lunch. From there, there was all good pitched road, going down till the end. We wouldn't have to pedal at all. But, the other riders wanted to try the single tracks. I wasn't happy, but wanted to see and explore the new route. Still, worried for the newbie dai, though because he was already feeling hard. 

After an off road down hill (which I hate because of the jerks I feel in my wrists due to bad suspension), we came across this small technical single track downhill. Normally, I wouldn't try that but there was none behind me or at the front. That means, even I fall, there was none to judge. I tried. And I did it.

That was finally the end of tough terrains. Now I was waiting to get back home and eat dal-bhat. The newbie dai started feeling severe pain in his thighs after that downhill. The others took off. Me, a guy and that dai laid back together, riding slowly. He took a taxi from the town. I returned back home. 

You can find the photos of the ride here.
Jhor-Mudkhu Cycling photos



You can find the map of the ride here.

Strava map for Jhor-Mudkhu trail

Ok, that was all about cycling I did. But why that title? 

It has rightly been said, people regret not of the things they have done but of the things they wanted to do, but never did.

That day, I made a choice. It was not a life changing choice. It was just a small choice I made over the others. 


After being diagnosed with nerve problem a month back I wasn't cycling often. My weekends for the last month went lying on my lazy ass on my chair all day watching TV or movies. And after being diagnosed with the starting phase of URIC ACID problems, I gave hope in living an active life. I had no bad habits of any kind (except being an ass friend, and a bad a son). I had been cycling often. Despite having a motor bike, I used to walk or cycle for small works around. I do laundry on my own. I like to live active. And despite all this, I had a very rough health this year. I started giving up on myself. I came to the ledge of living my passive, do nothing, just eat and shit.

But I made a choice. I chose not to be passive. I chose to wake up, grab my bike and go for the ride. I chose to ride at least a couple of kilometres if my back wouldn't help.


Do I regret about this? No, I don't. My back pain increased to some extend. But, I don't regret about that. The day was fruitful, I learnt some techniques. I learnt that I could do better if there is none to judge me.

I could do the single tracks which I had been always avoiding. Why? There was none to judge me. May be when you are free to do something, when there is none to judge over what you are doing or what the results are, you will have this confidence. That's what I had that day, boosted up confidence. I was free. The people were strangers. And that is why I love meeting, talking to strangers. That is why I love going out for a ride or a date with a stranger. They won't judge you in the first place. They will take you for what you are. May be the second time, they will start judging you and so will you. 


Should you be bothered when someone picks on you, judges you? No, you shouldn't. If you believe in what you are doing, you needn't care about what others say. But, we are the so called 'social beings'. We live in a society, and we tend to think of society with the actions we take. That is natural. I don't say we can be free of that, and we can never be. But, we can minimize that. We can try to be free of all the things that we have been told when we did something stupid. We can live life of our own will. 

Be free, be happy.

:) :) :)




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