Are You a Good Friend?

via sharecare.com

1. The ups and downs of a friendship are important for growing and developing both the relationship and yourselves as individuals. The learning you do together is ultimately what will make a friendship flourish for the long haul.
2. Friends can put pressure on one another to look or dress a certain way. If your group of friends is constantly focused on gaining weight, you may be sharing negative messages about body image. And if a friendship revolves around eating or cooking, you and your friends may be putting on the pounds. On the other hand, friends can do a great job of motivating one another to lose weight in a healthy way.
3. New research suggests that men have a particularly hard time being "just friends" with women. In a recent study, women seemed to genuinely believe that their opposite-sex friendships were platonic, while men seemed to want something more from the relationship.
4. There may be times when one friend is giving more than the other, but for a friendship to stand the test of time, both friends should expect to rely on each other equally and share a sense of reciprocity.
5. The fact is, not everyone is meant to be friends. If you're trying to ignite a friendship with a person who doesn't seem interested in it, give it your best shot, but be willing to admit it may be time to leave things where they lie and move on.If a friend hurts your feelings or says something to upset you, let her know. She can't read your mind, so if you have something to say, say it. If your friendship is healthy, the two of you should be able to resolve the issue and move past it quickly.
6. A friend's frequent, braggy status updates are aggravating you. What's the best way to handle her?
   ANS: Hit "hide" and be happy. She'll never know you did it, and you'll get the relief you want. If you want to catch up with her, go to her page to see what's going on. Unhide her if and when you think you can tolerate the updates again.
7. Almost everyone deserves at least a second shot to make an impression. If you avoid snap judgments and instead spend some time getting to know a new person, you may realize you have more in common or get along better than you initially thought.
8. A good friend won't avoid the issue. Vicki Berkus, PhD suggests using "I" statements to describe the behavior you're seeing. You can say, "When I see your weight dropping, I feel concerned." If your friend is open to talking about it, offer to help her get help from a counselor or her family. If she isn't willing to get help, and you fear she may starve or hurt herself, go to her family. Your friend may be angry at first, but soon she'll realize that she may not be able to make good decisions for herself right now.
9. Clothes aren't the only thing best friends share -- they also share a likelihood to be overweight. If your friend is gaining weight and becoming overweight, your risk increases nearly 60%. Fight the battle of the bulge together.
10. Most of the time when people grieve, whether over the loss of a parent or pet, the end of a career or relationship, they just want someone who will listen. Be that person for her, and don't be too quick to offer advice. It's an understanding mind that is typically most wanted.
11. Start a book club with your friends and get a healthy double dose of brain and emotional stimulation. Staying mentally active with your friends can help you reduce stress, feel happier and keep your brain sharp.
12. Don't discount the value of Facebook as a genuine friendship tool. A series of status updates and communication with Facebook friends can make you feel more connected. An added bonus? Some research suggests that disclosing information about yourself signals pleasurable effects on the brain.
13. When you're at a loss for words, it's frankly best to say so. Anything you do say will rarely be enough to turn the grieving around anyway, so be honest with your friend, then let her know that you are there for her.
14. When a friend is grieving or sick, how can you best help her? Ans: Pitching in with everyday tasks like grocery shopping, picking up the kids from school, cleaning the kitchen, or bringing dinner by is always helpful when a friend is grieving or sick. Ask yourself this question: If I were in her shoes, what would I want my friends to do? Then do those things. 
15. Friendships take balance, and if you're doing all the work, you're going to burn out. Step away and do something nice for yourself from time to time. In the end, your relationships will benefit.
16. Constant negative interactions with friends and family members can be just as stressful as major life events. To combat a friend's negativity, try to steer her away from conversation topics that will bring others down -- and tell her you like to stay positive. If things don't get any better, limit your time with this friend. You'll benefit, and so will others.
17. Someone else's sour mood won't do anything to improve your own. If the negativity never seems to end, repeat back to your friend what she's saying about feeling powerless. Hearing it come from another person may help her process it. If that doesn't work, set boundaries and time limits. Know what you will and won't talk about and for how long. Lastly, if her mood still seems stuck in the mud, be honest with her and suggest she see a therapist.
18. -Go to a football game.
    -Host a slumber party.
    -See a show at the theatre.
    

    Makes you more connected.